Joke of the day - Hunting Flies

20 Years of Marriage - 10th place won $5 After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then slid his hand across her shoulders and neck, slowly worked it down one side, then the other, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed downward again, working down her side, passed gently over and then in between her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?" "I found the remote," he said. Submitted by outward Help decide this week's winners. Vote & Rate Jokes Now!

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Hunting Flies - 9th place won $6 A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued by this she asked, "How can you tell?" He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone." Submitted by Herb Help decide this week's winners. Vote & Rate Jokes Now!

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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com MONEY #613 Money is neither good nor bad, the results of your use of it will determine its usefulness.

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Joke of the day - Credit Limit

Revised Salary HR: This is your revised salary, Keep it confidential. Employee: Don't worry, I'm equally ashamed of it. Submitted by Srinivas Polu Did you think this joke was funny enough to win money? Help decide this week's winners. Vote & Rate Jokes Now!

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Credit Limit The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and said, "My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!" The whole audience burst into laughter. But one was in complete silence... The Groom! Submitted by Sacras Did you think this joke was funny enough to win money? Help decide this week's winners. Vote & Rate Jokes Now!

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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com Rust Problems #2525 To keep tools from rusting in the toolbox, just drop a couple of charcoal briquettes to keep the moisture out.

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You received this email because you signed up for email notifications from AJokeADay.com. To opt out of these emails unsubscribe here. 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2015 © All rights reserved.