Funny everyday jokes: Joke of the day

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Joke of the day - Hunting Flies

20 Years of Marriage - 10th place won $5

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then slid his hand across her shoulders and neck, slowly worked it down one side, then the other, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed downward again, working down her side, passed gently over and then in between her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

"I found the remote," he said.

Submitted by outward

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Hunting Flies - 9th place won $6

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies," He responded.

"Oh, killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.

Intrigued by this she asked, "How can you tell?"

He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

Submitted by Herb