Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? is the most committed amateur detective work I have ever heard. It is also the best podcast title I have ever seen.

Hi, Podcast People!

I remember when I got married and we found out that someone had pooped on the floor.

I kid, that is an outrageous claim, and it doesn't read as real, which is what makes the podcast Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? all that much better.

I will note that this is not a podcast that I initially selected on my own. Full credit to my wife on this one. She is a true crime fanatic and also loves foreign stories and true crime that is not, as they say, "fully stabby," so this one seemed to walk a line. That said, when we discussed what podcast we would listen to on our next drive without the kid, I wasn't necessarily thrilled by this one. Did I really care about the topic? Could it actually be interesting, or was I signing up for multiple hours of wedding-based poop jokes?

Turns out I was very, very wrong on this pick and that's sometimes my favorite kind of pod: the ones that you wouldn't pick out yourself, that perhaps you're being dragged into and then it turns out you love them that much more because it's not what you would have picked for yourself.

So no, I did not have someone poop at my wedding and I think the closest thing I've come to in terms of a wedding disaster is when one of the best men at another friend's wedding punched another of the best men the night before (not poop related, still high drama). But somehow that pales in comparison to what this podcast is and how they set up (and execute) across all of it.

Because it really is a bit of a different beast.

Here is the case. Karen Whitehouse and Helen McLaughlin got married on a boat in Amsterdam on August 11 2018, around a hundred people came, and at some point in the evening somebody pooped on the floor of the ladies' bathroom and never admitted to it. Two years later, still bothered, they turned it into a case.

The detective is their friend Lauren Kilby, whose entire qualification is an online private investigator course, which is fantastic and so very on point for what this show is. But they also treat it with a certain amount of rigor along with the humor, so people brought aboard at various points include a consulting forensic psychologist who has worked murder and arson cases and does not hide how ridiculous he finds this one, a forensic scientist with 26 years in the field who walks them through how poop actually gets tested for in a lab, and a lie detector bought off the internet for about a hundred bucks, rated two and a half stars by its own customers, deployed completely straight-faced.

It came out across 2020 into 2021 and I missed it at the time, which I am choosing to blame on 2020. Or the title. Maybe both.

On the other side, there’s the boat, the bathroom, a survey mailed to every single guest, and the afternoon they went to a zoo.