Monday, October 7, 2013

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

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The Joke of The Day
College Jokes :: #23657
By Anonymous from USA.

A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: "Have you read Marx? The psychology professor replied: "Yes. I think it's from the wicker chairs."


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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Words of Knowledge :: #307
By LeeBerry from Cornwall United Kingdom

Predictability?
IF YOU ALWAYS DO

WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID

YOU WILL ALWAYS GET

WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT.

 
 
 
 
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Sunday, October 6, 2013

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 6th October, 2013

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 6th October, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Notice to All EMS Personnel
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From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS
narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective
immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations
to describe patients, such as the following.

a.. Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH
(messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA
(had it before, got it again).
b.. Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use
CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
c.. Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go
boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly,
descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative
vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
d.. HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
e.. Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not
considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
f.. Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
g.. The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal
intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."
h.. And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws
up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling
the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our
patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives
and log entries.





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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

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The Spicy Joke of The Day
Entertainment Jokes :: #16419
By Anonymous from USA.

This guy goes into his barber, and he's all excited. He says, "I'm going to go to Rome.

I'm flying on Alitalia and staying at the Rome Hilton, and I'm going to see the Pope."

The barber says, "Ha! Alitalia is a terrible airline, the Rome Hilton is a dump, and when you see the Pope, you'll probably be standing in back of about 10,000 people."

So the guy goes to Rome and comes back. His barber asks, "How was it?"

"Great," he says. Alitalia was a wonderful airline. The hotel was great. And I got the meet the Pope."

You met the Pope? Said the barber.

"I bent down to kiss the Pope's ring."

"And what did he say?"

"He said, "Where did you get that crummy haircut?"






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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous Quote :: #51
By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA.

QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson



 
 
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A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

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The Joke of The Day
Puns :: #22583
By Ray Howard from USA.

"Well, I finaly retired my old car", said the old man. His pal ask, "Did you junk it or trade it in?" "Naw nothing like that, I put four new Michelins on it."


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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Love Quotes :: #808
By Shera from Chester USA.

A Broken Heart
A broken heart is like a dog bite. The pain will go away, but the scar will last forever

 
 
 
 
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Saturday, October 5, 2013

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 5th October, 2013

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 5th October, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Fetch
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The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. "You
need to make sure this dog runs around," the doctor said.

"Try playing a game of fetch with him."

"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.

"Why not?" the doctor asked.

"Because," she replied, "He can't throw."




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The Spicy Joke of The Day
Nurses :: #15910
By GEO from Auckland New Zealand

Bob is injured in a car accident and is admitted to hospital. He ends up in a men's ward, next to Joe and Phil. Phil yells out to the nurse, "Hey nurse, I need to take a piss!" The nurse comes over and says, "Don't talk like that here, please. Say I need to do number one." Some time later, Joe yells out to the nurse, "Hey nurse, I need to take a shit!" The nurse comes over and says, "Please don't talk like that. Say I need to do number two." Some time later, Bob calls the nurse over and whispers to her; "nurse, I need to take a shit but I haven't been given a number yet."


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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous Quote :: #1070
By Alicia from Barrington Hills USA.

Famous quote
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."

Carl Bard



 
 
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A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

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The Joke of The Day
Doctors Jokes :: #23586
By Barry Foster from Indianapolis Indiana USA.

A group of doctors were out duck hunting, when a large bird flew overhead.

The family doctor raised his gun to shoot, but then lowered his gun saying "I am not sure that is a duck."

The Psychiatrist raised his gun, but then lowered it again saying "I know it's a duck, but I'm not sure that it knows it's a duck."

The surgeon raises his gun and blasts the bird out of the sky. He turns to the pathologist and says "Go see if that was a duck."




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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Famous Quote :: #51
By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA.

QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson



 
 
 
 
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999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018

1995-2013 © All rights reserved.

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