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Blonde Jokes :: #14278 By Anonymous from USA. One day a blonde walked into a second hand store and asked the clerk "How much is that TV in the window?" The man said, "I'm sorry. I don't sell stuff to blondes." So She walked out. The next day she came in as a red head. She asked how much the TV was in the window again. And again he said he didn't sell things to blondes. The next day she came in again and asked for the third time how much the TV was. The man said "FOR THE FINAL TIME I DONT SALE STUFF TO BLONDES!!" She said, "How did you know I was a blonde?" He said, "That's not a TV, It's a microwave!!!!!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommended for You         Halo Reach The best-selling Xbox game of all time! Players experience the fateful momments that forged the "Halo" legend. It's the story of Noble Team, a squad of heroic Spartan soliders, and their final stand on the planet Reach.     Safety :: #6054 By Michelle Welch from Sarnia, Ontario Canada Tornado Safety Most people in North America live in what is called Tornado Alley and here are a few tips to survive a tornado. A Tornado Watch is issued if conditions are right for tornado development. (No tornado is sighted yet) A Tornado Warning is issued when a tornado is sighted and on the ground. Responding To a Tornado Warning 1. If you are in the open, seek shelter in a sturdy building. If a building is not close by find a depression or a ditch and lay as flat as you can and try to find something to hold onto like a tree, post in the ground or a bush. 2. If you are in a vehicle try to get away from the tornado and if you cannot leave the vehicle and seek shelter in a ditch it is safer than the car. 3. If you are in a public building get to the lowest floor and seek shelter in an inside hallway far away from windows. If you are in charge in the building try to get the people into a safe place without panicking them. 4. If you are at home go to the basement under a staircase or close to your washer and dryer. If there is no basement go to the main floor into a closet and close the door, or into the bathtub and cover yourself with the cushions of the sofa, or turn the sofa over and crawl under the space between the floor and where the seat and back join. 5 If you live in a mobile home leave it immediately and go to a more substantial building like a neighboring home or business, or get to the lowest spot you can find.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

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Mike Birbiglia: Brakes on an Orgy I'm not the kind of guy who has a huge weight problem, but I am the kind of guy who could really put the brakes...   Read on » See Mike Birbiglia Tell It » Mike Birbiglia - Going to the Gym Mike Birbiglia finds all the reasons not to go to the gym. Keep Laughing with our library of 10,000 Jokes!    Filed Under: Mike Birbiglia, sex, sports Share This Joke: http://www.jokes.com/funny/mike-birbiglia/mike-birbiglia--brakes-on-an-orgy ShareThis View Mike Birbiglia's profile »

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Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #266 By Mark O. from Unknown An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way, buddy, you're too drunk." A few minutes later, the drunk comes in though the bathroom. Again he slurs, "Give me a drink," and the bartender says, "No, man, I told you last time -- you're too drunk" Five minutes later the guy comes in though the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You're too drunk" The drunk scratches his head and says "Dang, I must be. The last two places said the same thing." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommendation for You         The All-New Kindle 3G Smaller, Lighter, Faster with 50% Better Contrast and Free 3G Wireless. The most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product ...     Famous Quote :: #51 By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA. QUOTE: Success, Emerson "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -Ralph Waldo Emerson     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com