Monday, November 1, 2010

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Blonde Jokes :: #18740
By TANOYA from NASSAU Bahamas, The

Top Ten Blonde Inventions

1) The waterproof towel

2) Solar powered flashlight

3) Submarine screen door

4) A book on how to read

5) Inflatable dartboard

6) A dictionary index

7) Ejector seat in a helicopter

8) Powdered water

9) Pedal-powered wheel chair

10) Water-proof tea bag



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Miscellaneous :: #5939
By Anonymous from USA.

Did you know?
Most mammals can make their own vitamin C; we humans are on a very short list – which also includes fruit bats, guinea pigs, and apes – that can't.

 
 
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Donnell Rawlings: SeaWorld Killer

A whale is killing people in SeaWorld. That's not funny but the headlines were funny: 'Killer Whale Kills.' What the hell do you think a...   Read on »

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Donnell Rawlings - Killer Whale Kills
Only a white whale could kill two people and just get a transfer to another SeaWorld.
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Filed Under: Donnell Rawlings, animals, violence

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Log on to Jokes.com November 3 for live streaming stand-up from the New York Comedy Festival.
 
 
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The Joke of The Day
Scifi Jokes :: #178
By Patrick Voorhies from Mansura Los Angeles USA.

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.

Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"

Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried.

"Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! The Hills are alive with the sound of music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



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The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Health :: #5925
By Anonymous from USA.

Double dipper?
A study performed at Clemson University found that double dipping can transfer at least 50 to 100 bacteria from mouth to dip with every bite.



 
 
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