Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 4th April, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 4th April, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Two Red Ears
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A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?"

"The jerk called back!"

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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Idiots :: #1795 By Ashley from Nashville Tn USA. Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a......." "What? He had two assholes! said the mortician. "Yup, everyone in town knew he had two a........ Every time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two a........." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Love & Dating :: #2311 By Elliott Duke from Crawley United Kingdom The Puzzle of Love! Love, is an ever lasting puzzle.... when you think you've found that person for you, you begin to assemble this puzzle! But be careful!! The pieces may fit!!! But the picture can be wrong! So you may have to think again! Before both your lives end up in ruins.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for April 4th

Aha!Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for Apr. 4, 2012! Is this email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser. Polite Dining One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?" Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?" Tom: "The smaller piece, of course." Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?" Easter Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: He didn't want the other bunnies to know that he was fooling around with the chickens. Ready To Laugh? Come to AhaJokes.com for more fun any time! Visit our funny pics, funny vids, or funny forwards sections for a good laugh!  follow on Twitter | friend on Facebook  Copyright © 2012 Aha!Jokes LLC. All rights reserved. Funniest place on the web. Our mailing address is: ahajokes@hotmail.com Add this e-mail to your Address Book! We respect your privacy. You are receiving this e-mail because you or someoen else subscribed to receive jokes on the AhaJokes.com Web site. We do not randomly send these newsletters out, and you can permanently unsubscribe by using the link below if you no longer wish to receive this newsletter.  unsubscribe from this list

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Airplane Jokes :: #10641 By Anonymous from USA. While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between 'C' and 'D', but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" "Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Self-Improvement :: #5409 By Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD from Aurora USA. The More You Participate In Life The More You Get Out Of It Stop whining and complaining and start doing and taking action. You will find that the more action you take the more life will give you. It is really simple. Participating in life at the fullest possible level will create a life that is exciting and full of opportunity.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 3rd April, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 3rd April, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Preacher
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The Preacher explains that he must move on to a large congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims:

"If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says: "If the Preacher will
stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!"

More sighs and loud applause. Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the preacher stays, I will give him sex," There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies:

"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said...... "Screw the Preacher."

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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Blonde Jokes :: #754 By Mary Morris from Lee's Summit Missouri USA. Q: What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A: A blow job with handle bars Forward this joke to your friends >>   Home Life :: #1384 By Anonymous from USA. Washing Sneakers? If you blast some spray starch on sneakers before wearing them, they will be easier to launder since the dirt won't grind in. Wash them in the machine and they'll come out spanking clean!     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Elderly Jokes :: #19175 By Anonymous from USA. A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a 'funeral director.' After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.' Forward this joke to your friends >>   Health :: #478 By Gemminna from Chicago USA. We need sleep! By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor ...you could be sleep deprived and putting yourself at risk for an early death. That stunning conclusion was reached by researchers at Penn State College of Medicine, who determined that when we get just six hours of sleep a night, we are actually sleep deprived. And sleep deprivation not only makes us sleepy during the day and decreases our productivity and performance levels, but also promotes the potentially dangerous process of inflammation. Inflammation of this sort can lead to a variety of problems, including heart disease and hardening of the arteries, reports WebMD. Previous studies have examined the effects of severe sleep deprivation, which is five hours or less of sleep. This one looked at the effects of modest sleep restriction, something that many people live with day in and day out in order to meet the pressing demands of work and family. The levels of inflammatory factors skyrocketed in the 25 study volunteers--who spent 12 consecutive nights in a sleep laboratory--when they had just six hours of sleep, compared with eight hours. So when you pass up sleep to watch more television, talk to your spouse, or clean the house, you are putting yourself at risk for cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com