Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 26th November, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 26th November, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Buffalo Theory
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A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you!




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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #17425 By DEBZ!! from belfast ireland Ireland What is a man's most embarrassing moment?? When he walks into a wall with an erection and breaks his nose. Forward this joke to your friends >>   Interpersonal Skills :: #1633 By Dez from mokena USA. You and the world To the world you are somebody but to somebody you are the world     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for November 26

Aha!Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for Nov. 26, 2012! Is this email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser. Getting Old Could Be Worse At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains. "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another. "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another contributed. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. Then there was a short moment of silence. "Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive." Crazy Laws - Nevada It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. In Clark County NV, an ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time. In Elko NV, Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask. In Eureka NV, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women. In Nyala NV, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. Ready To Laugh? Come to AhaJokes.com for more fun any time! Visit our funny pics, funny vids, or funny forwards sections for a good laugh!  follow on Twitter | friend on Facebook  Copyright © 2012 Aha!Jokes LLC. All rights reserved. Funniest place on the web. Our mailing address is: ahajokes@hotmail.com Add this e-mail to your Address Book! We respect your privacy. You are receiving this e-mail because you or someone else subscribed to receive jokes on the AhaJokes.com Web site. We do not randomly send these newsletters out, and you can permanently unsubscribe by using the link below if you no longer wish to receive this newsletter.  unsubscribe from this list

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Doctors Jokes :: #103 By Paulina A. Candia from Santiago R. M. Chile A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Home Life :: #6209 By Anonymous from USA. Subborn crayon marks Is your future Van Gogh drawing on your walls? No problem, just spray foam shaving cream on the marks and wait 3 minutes, then wipe with a damp cloth. The cream's thick formula will help it stay put on the wall while its concentrated soaps will quickly dissolve the waxy marks.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Marriage Jokes :: #138 By Louis Kollek from USA. On their wedding night, Bruce displays his member to his new virgin bride and tells her it's the only one in the world. She, of course, believes him. He's gone to a conference for a couple of weeks. He returns, only to be questioned by his new wife. 'Bruce,' she says, 'I thought you said you had the only one in the world. But Harry at the drug store has one too.' 'Well, er,' Bruce flusters, 'Harry and I were in the war together, I had two, so I gave him one of mine.' 'Oh. Well, why did you give him the best one?' Forward this joke to your friends >>   Proverbs :: #1508 By Matthew L. from Anaheim USA. Life in a glass An Optismisitc person see the glass of water as half full, the Pessimistic person see it half empty, the Blessed Man will just drink it.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Entertainment Jokes :: #19766 By Santosh Bohara from Nepal Banta's son: Dad there is some one at the door to collect donations for a swimming pool. Banta: Give him a glass of water. Forward this joke to your friends >>   Famous Quote :: #51 By Peter Prestipino from Chicago USA. QUOTE: Success, Emerson "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -Ralph Waldo Emerson     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 24th November, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 24th November, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Notice to All EMS Personnel
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From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS
narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective
immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations
to describe patients, such as the following.

a.. Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH
(messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA
(had it before, got it again).
b.. Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use
CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
c.. Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go
boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly,
descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative
vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
d.. HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
e.. Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not
considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
f.. Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
g.. The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal
intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."
h.. And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws
up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling
the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our
patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives
and log entries.






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