Friday, March 11, 2016

Joke of the day - Going to the Disco

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The Good Thief


Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less than his wife.

Submitted by ajokes

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Going to the Disco


Husband takes the wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says, "Looks like he's still celebrating!"


Submitted by MikeH

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The Tip of The Day from
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The mystery of death #776

Death is something that can't be explained. We are each owed a death, at
which time it will come or where is a mystery.
Live each day as if it wereyour last.
Make amends with those you crossed or who crossed you.
Tellthat special one in your life that you love them.
Smile at passers by.
Help someone in need.

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Thursday, March 10, 2016

Joke of the day - Careful with that Opening Joke

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Lottery Winnings


A man and his wife are talking:

Man - "What would happen if I were to win the lottery?"

Woman - "I would take half and leave you in a heartbeat!"

Man - "I won twelve dollars, here's six now get out!"

Submitted by D-Gellybean

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Careful with that Opening Joke


Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers.

One of these speakers boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well.

About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "…and I can't remember who she was!"


Submitted by HENNE

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The Tip of The Day from
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Great challenges #2933

There are no great people
in this world, only great challenges
which ordinary people rise to meet
- William Fredenick Halsey -

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