Thursday, March 10, 2016

Joke of the day - Careful with that Opening Joke

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Lottery Winnings


A man and his wife are talking:

Man - "What would happen if I were to win the lottery?"

Woman - "I would take half and leave you in a heartbeat!"

Man - "I won twelve dollars, here's six now get out!"

Submitted by D-Gellybean

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Careful with that Opening Joke


Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers.

One of these speakers boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well.

About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "…and I can't remember who she was!"


Submitted by HENNE

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The Tip of The Day from
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Great challenges #2933

There are no great people
in this world, only great challenges
which ordinary people rise to meet
- William Fredenick Halsey -

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