Funny everyday jokes

Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Business Jokes :: #60
By Seth Romans from Unknown

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir," the clerk replied.

"That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

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Health :: #6018
By from USA.

Cough and cold medicines for children
Did you know that cough and cold medicines haven't been proved effective for children? In fact, the Food and Drug administration (FDA) strongly encourages parents to avoid cough and cold medicines for children younger than age 2. Since these medicines don't cure or shorten the course of the common cold anyway, it's better to offer your child plenty of rest and fluids.

- Mayo Clinic -

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

More Reasons Why Computers Are Better Then Women

Computers don't get pregnant.

Computers don't get upset if you use other computers.

Computers don't insist on foreplay.

Computers don't make you meet their parents.

Computers don't mind if you share them with a friend.

Computers don't mind spending hours on the phone with you.

Computers don't play head games unless you ask them to.

Computers never ask you to call them in the morning.

Computers never have headaches,
or take rainchecks,
or have a curfew,
or have that time of the month.

Computers won't mind if you don't like their friends.

If you don't like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to
another in less than a minute.

Size doesn't count to a computer.

The average computer session lasts four hours.

With a computer, you never have to say you're sorry.

You can log into several computers at once.

You can turn off a computer.

You can visit a computer any time you like, and it'll be up and ready
for you.

You don't have to tell computers you love them.

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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Work Jokes :: #259
By Anonymous from USA.

An office manager had money problems and had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he'd wait and see who would leave work the earliest, and both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack and the manager went up to her and said, 'Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off.'

Jill said, 'Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus.

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Home Life :: #6143
By Anonymous from USA.

Before you commit to an "age-restricted" community do your homework.
Many people over 59 are drawn to age-limited communities where they hope to find the sorts of social activities that will fill their days once they are retired. Yet some older people who choose such a community face an unexpected result: boredom. Those with varied cultural and intellectual interest, and the capacity to program their own discretionary time could find life in an age-restricted community that's located in a resort area to be especially monotonous when the pre-planned sociability occurs on a predictable schedule.

People who have tried this say all their neighbors ever talk about are their aches and pains, when cocktails will be serve and what's for dinner.

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