SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Sex Jokes :: #2145 By Dill, AC from Charleston SC USA. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She Choked! Forward this joke to your friends >>   One-Liners :: #619 By SHAYLE' CHARLESWORTH from YUMA USA. THOUGHTFUL ACTION THINK LIKE A MAN OF ACTION, ACT LIKE A MAN OF THOUGHT.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Elderly Jokes :: #11056 By Anonymous from USA. Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr. Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will. "I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation." "And that is?" "In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death." The lawyer seemed puzzled. "Why make such an unusual request?" Mr. Sams answered, "Because I want someone to be sorry I died." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Improve your Vocabulary :: #3222 By Walt Haskins from Lahaina, Hawaii USA. KEEP THOSE HANDS CLEAN Many prefer to dirty their words when confronting a problem instead of dirtying their hands.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 2nd December, 2012

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 2nd December, 2012 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Sparrow
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Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid. A cow passed by where he had fallen, and crapped on the little sparrow.The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings!

Warm and happy, able to breath, he started to sing.

Just then a large cat came by, and hearing the chirping he investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.

The Moral of the Story:
Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy
Everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend.
And if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.



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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes :: #21412 By Nmutaka from Nigeria A man making the Bar scene, was fairly intoxicated when he went into a popular night spot. The bartender refused to serve him and told him he should go home. Man: My wife will kill me. Bartender: Take her some candy. Man: She is on a diet. Bartender: Take her some flowers. Man: She has allergies. Bartender: Tell her a poem. Man: She loves poems ... I don't know any. Bartender: Here is one for you. The Bartender recited. YOU BABYLONIAN WITCH... BLUE EYES AND RUBY LIPS... BENEATH THINE EYES PASSION LIES AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES MY PASSION RISE. -"Shakespeare" Man: I can handle that. So walking home the man was reciting to himself the poem. When he gets home he is unable to find his keys. So he knocks on the door. Wife: You better not of been drinking. Man: Sweetness, I have a poem for you! Wife: It had better be good The man starts to recite the poem... YOU BABYLONIAN BITCH… BLUE EYES AND PURPLE TITS… BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS A PUSSY LIES AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES MY PECKER RISE. Forward this joke to your friends >>   One-Liners :: #295 By Ron Forman from Cleveland USA. Focusing Your focus determines your reality     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Police Jokes :: #10558 By kimmi from nottingham nottinghamshire United Kingdom Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?" Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!" Policeman: "How can you be so certain?" Pedestrian: "I'd recognize that laugh anywhere!" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Childcare :: #820 By virginia . from belleville USA. tips for your children Always do your best, and forget the rest. When things go wrong, just remember this to shall pass.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

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Marriage Jokes :: #16614 By from Unknown Two women walking home after a heavy night on the booze, needed to pee, so they ducked into a graveyard. They had no toilet paper so, one woman used her knickers and threw them away the other used a ribbon from a wreath. The next day their husbands were talking "we'd better keep an eye on our wives one said, mine came home without her knickers" "you think that is bad" said the other "mine came home with a card stuck in her arse, saying, from all the guys at the fire station we'll never forget you" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Automotive :: #685 By Michelle Forentino from Buffalo USA. Going in for an oil change? Are you tired of going in for an oil change and then paying for the oil change, an air filter, a transmission flush, and new alignments that you were told you needed? Your car may not have needed any of the extra maintenance so be wary of what mechanics are telling you. In many "quick lube" mechanic franchises, the mechanics are paid on commission and are pressured into selling a certain amount of "accessory" services every week. When you're deciding on where to take your vehicle, give a quick call before you go and find out how the employes are compensated. If you can't avoid mechanics on commission consult your vehicle's manual before you go. It should list the mileages for when you should get a new filter or have your transmission flushed. Keep records of when maintenance is performed so you know exactly when it should be done again, instead of letting some greedy mechanic tell you to pay for something that your car doesn't need!     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Marriage Jokes :: #3910 By from USA. A few days before her birthday a husband asked his wife, "Dear, what would you like for your present?" Wife: I really don't think I should say. Husband: How about a diamond ring? Wife: I don't care much for diamonds. Husband: well, then, a mink coat? Wife: You know I do not like furs. Husband: A golden necklace? Wife: I already have three of them. Husband: Well, gosh, what do you want? Wife: What I'd really like is a divorce Husband: Hmmm, I wasn't planning on spending that much Forward this joke to your friends >>   Love & Dating :: #623 By lauryn flynn from adelaide Australia ~*Special people*~ Some people make the world more special by just being in it! I know someone special!     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com