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Religious Jokes :: #14184 By from USA. A Preacher, a Priest and a Rabbi are playing golf and discussing the various ways they work out the split of the collection plates. The Pastor says, "At our church, we draw a 3 foot wide circle on the ground and throw the money straight up and whatever lands outside the circle, I keep and the rest goes to God". The Priest, thinking himself a little more pious, says, "We use a one foot wide circle, we also throw the money and whatever lands inside the circle goes to me and the rest goes to our Father up in Heaven. Then, they both look at the Rabbi. The Rabbi says, "Alright, already! We in the Synagogue are a little different; we never got as fancy-chancy as you, with the circle thing. However, we do throw the money high up in the air and whatever God wants; . . . he keeps". Forward this joke to your friends >>   Miscellaneous :: #2664 By Joan C. VanderLaan from Mokena USA. Happiness Don't use your yardstick to measure other people's happiness.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

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Marriage Jokes :: #17637 By kolade Tiamiyu from ado ekiti ekiti state Nigeria A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, "What are you looking for? He replied, "The expiration date." Forward this joke to your friends >>     (Sponsor this newsletter)   Health :: #625 By Mike Ingo, UAW / EAP from Dublin USA. Sleep Apnea Chronic Sleep Apnea is a condition in which one actually quits breathing for short episodes during sleep. The condition is easily diagnosed by doctors trained in sleep disorders, by simply going to a sleep clinic. Some signs and symptoms include; loud snoring with moments of complete silence; a "snorting" sound with abrupt wakening; feeling exhausted even after you have slept for several hours; lack of concentration; and even falling asleep during the day while driving or on the job. This condition can be life threatening and is treatable. For more information check with your family doctor and you may check out the National Sleep Foundation WebPages at: http://www.sleepfoundation.org/     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2013 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th July, 2013

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th July, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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One Golf Ball
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Two golfing friends were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that
his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other ball?", he asked.

"Nope, I only need one ball."

"Are you sure? What happens if you lose that one?"

"This is a very special golf ball. You can't lose it, so I don't need
another one."

"What do you mean you can't lose it! What happens if you slice your shot
and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay, this special golf ball senses when it's under water and it
puts out a steam of bubbles. I'll be able to retrieve it. You can't lose
this ball"

"Well what happens if you hit it into the long rough?"

"No problem, you see, this ball can detect the long grass and it sends up
puffs of fluorescent smoke. I'll be able to see it easily. You can't lose
this ball"

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun
goes down, and you hit your ball deep into the trees and it gets lost
among the bushes and shrubs?. What are you going to do then?"

"That's okay too. You see, this special ball can sense the darkness and it
makes a beeping sound. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one amazing golf ball, the friend
asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

"I found it."






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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Blonde Jokes :: #14301 By Anonymous from USA. Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills Forward this joke to your friends >>   Health :: #1586 By Anonymous from USA. Calorie count Home-style breakfast, switch fried eggs for poached and swap 4 strips of regular bacon for one slice of Canadian bacon. Calories saved: 216 Celebrate the weekend with a Bloody Mary instead of a Piña Colada. Or drink sparkling water with lime instead of light beer. Calories saved: 108 Taking the children to McDonald's? Order medium fries and hold the cheese on that Quarter Pounder. Calories saved: 190     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

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Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #21796 By Teresa from Riverdale Maryland USA. Three drunks hailed a taxi. The taxi driver seeing that they were so wasted when they got in, he just switched on the engine and switched it off, and said we are here. The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized the car didn't move an inch. So what was that for, he asked. Control your speed next time, you almost killed us. Forward this joke to your friends >>     (Sponsor this newsletter)   Relationships :: #2027 By L Miller from Tucson USA. Greener If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence it's probably astro turf.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2013 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

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Idiots :: #18719 By from Unknown Two fellows are sitting in the waiting room. One is a smart fellow and the other is an idiot. The smart fellow is called first. He goes and sits on the chair. He is asked three questions. 1."Are you mentally challenged?" He replies - "No, I don't think so." 2."Who is the president of the USA?" He says - "George Bush Junior." 3."What kind of job can we expect from you?" He is trained for this question - "The finest in the country, sir." The interviewer is very impressed. He puts this fellow down as an immediate reference. He then calls in the next fellow, the idiot. Outside the smart fellow and the idiot meet. The idiot, as usual, does not want to think. He asks the smart fellow, "Please tell me all the answers." The smart fellow does so, in proper order and goes away. The idiot enters the interview room. The interviewer, seeing the fellow, gets to know that he is an idiot and so he pulls out an easier set of questions. And so it goes - 1."Do you have parents?" As he was told, he replies - "No, I don't think so." 2."That is not possible. You must at least have a father. What is his name?" He replies - "George Bush Junior." The interviewer, rather flustered, looks up from the questionnaire and asks the idiot, "What kind of an idiot can you possibly be?" So comes the reply - "The finest in the country, sir." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Education :: #4535 By Illusen from Singapore Genius and Idiot It is only a line of difference between a genius and an idiot. So why make yourself cross the line to become an idiot when everyone is trying to cross the line to become a genius. Why make yourself cross the line to idiot just by being proud and arrogant when you worked your entire life to be a genius?     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Marriage Jokes :: #246 By James from San Francisco CA USA. A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!" The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?" He says, "I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!" Forward this joke to your friends >>     (Sponsor this newsletter)   Fitness :: #152 By Mike Simmons from Santa Monica USA. Stretching Stretching is the most overlooked, but the most important factor of exercising. Stretching helps prevent muscle pulls and tears. The following are tips to keep in mind for stretching right. Run or walk on a treadmill, or ride a stationary bike to warm up your muscles before stretching. Then, stretch all the basic muscle groups, including arms, buttocks, abs, neck, shoulders, legs, hips, and back. Hold each stretch for at least 30 seconds with a soft amount of tension. Do not bounce in a stretch! When stretching your muscle groups, you should not feel any pain. After you have finished your cardiovascular or strength-building exercise, be sure to stretch out again as part of your cool-down.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2013 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com