Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 31st March, 2013

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 31st March, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Golf Gun
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan
Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.

"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"

"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."




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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #299 By from USA. There was a bar advertising a contest and a man walked in to find out what the contest was for. The bartender said it is for anyone who could make my horse laugh wins fifty dollars. So the man asked where the horse was the bartender said out back in the barn. The man went out to the barn when he returned he told the bartender the horse was laughing the bartender went out and sure enough the horse was. About a month later the same man was passing the bar and they were having another contest and the man wanted to see what it was so he went in. The bartender said the horse had not stopped laughing since he was last there. The new contest was for who could make him stop got 100 dollars. The man went to the barn and came back and told the bartender that the horse was crying and the bartender went to check. When he returned he paid the man and asked how he had done that. The man replied that the first time I told the horse I had a bigger dick than he did, the second time I proved it. Forward this joke to your friends >>   Money :: #3273 By R.RAMACHANDRA RAO from HYDERABAD India Wealth Wealth amounts in not having great possessions but in having few wants. - EPICURIS -     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Work Jokes :: #20659 By Anonymous from USA. A man is being interviewed for a job. "What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?" "The slightest noise wakes me up." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Love Quotes :: #2846 By Roland Amedu from Lagos Nigeria When A Man Loves a Woman There are two things a man cannot hide: The fact that he is drunk, and the fact that he is in love.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 30th March, 2013

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th March, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Married Bliss
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One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it will take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April',he hollered into the bathroom,'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!!




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Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #386 By from USA. One day these two girls were hired to clean this guy's house. While they were there the AC broke, so one of the girls said, "Hey, since no one is here and it's so hot in here lets take off our clothes." The other girl agreed. So they took their clothes off. Later that day they heard a knock at the door. One of the girls went to the door and asked who it was. "Blind man," the person answered. The girl said, "Hey, since he's blind he can't see us." So she let him in. As soon as the blind-man stepped in he said, "Nice tits where do you want these blinds." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Health :: #5105 By Anonymous from USA. Healthy feet Give your feet a break by alternating high heels with flats at leas every other day. Wearing high heels too often can permanently thin your foot's natural padding.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes :: #11399 By from USA. "Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000! I can't pay that before the end of the month!" "Okay, you have six months to live." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Words of Knowledge :: #1674 By Kelliemarie from Dublin Ireland Regret Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it's happened.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

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Redneck Jokes :: #684 By Anonymous from USA. A Kentucky family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building; they were amazed by everything they saw -- especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!" While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your Maw." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Sports and Recreation :: #925 By Ken Black from Ottawa Canada How to Putt Like a Pro Putting makes up about 35-40% of your final score. If you usually shoot around 90, you likely average 34-36 putts a game. A Golf Pro on the P.G.A. usually takes 26-30 putts a round. To improve your putting, try this : Line up some coins in the form of a 4 inch wide pathway straight to the hole, 2ft. from the hole. You are putting through a 2 ft. long "tunnel", so to speak. Now, try and sink 9/10 putts from 2 ft. through this coin pathway, but, don't touch any. That is your goal - do not touch the coins. You'll soon find yourself sinking all of these putts on the practice green, and on the course too, building your confidence, and lowering your scores.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes :: #2672 By from USA. From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad." Forward this joke to your friends >>   Words of Knowledge :: #3479 By Walt Haskins from Lahaina, Hawaii USA. WHEN MORE IS LESS In searching for information on any matter, it is easy to get too much information. We should all remember that the more information that we have, the greater the opportunity to choose the misinformation that suits our personal purposes.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th March, 2013

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th March, 2013 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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Favorite John Madden Quotes
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"Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field."

"If this team doesn't put points on the board, I don't see how they can win."

"There're either going to run the ball here, or there're going to pass it."

"You see it, you see it, you see it....but you still cant stop it...Now THAT's frustrating"

"If your defense has dirt on their backs they're having a bad day."

"He had to get there fast, so he ran..."

"The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break."

(a lineman was having trouble with his helmet on the sidelines and couldn't get back in the game)

"Just put a bucket over his head and send him back in there."

"Brett Favre can throw the ball 300 yards underwater."

"I always used to tell my players that we are here to win! And you know what, Al? When you don't win, you lose."

"See, well ya see, the thing is, he should have caught that ball. But the ball is bigger than his hands."

"He might want to watch where he lands when tackling that guy, because he could really hurt his hand if it gets stepped on."

"Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee."

"The best feeling is watching a real football game, because the games they show in the movies aren't real."

"There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa."

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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Bathroom Graffiti :: #52 By Joe Kinley from USA. Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger. Forward this joke to your friends >>   Stress Control :: #331 By Eddie Robinson from Boston Mills USA. Coping with stress Many of the stressful situations we come across in your daily lives cannot be avoided or changed, but we can change how we respond to the stress. Try improving your way of dealing with stress or a stressful situation. Take a deep breath.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Presents: Bootleg Toys

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter Fun Forward Is this email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser. Bootleg Toys If there's one thing kids love, it's getting new toys. Toy companies come up with the flashiest, coolest looking things they can, hoping to create a hit that every child wants. Some companies are a little less scrupulous and try to cash in on these hits with their own knockoffs. Pity the child that gets one of these for the birthday! Be sure to forward to your friends, and spread the laughter! Sheriff Woody? The helpful lettering lets you know yes, this is Batman. It's-a me! Ninjas are known for their noisy flashing machine guns. Does whatever a spader can. Perhaps they were worried they'd get sued if they kept the "Hello"? I'd watch Robert Cop. Finally, a toy line based on the hit film! This duck is pretty amusing to be fair. Monica is my favorite Pocket Monica. Professional quality paintjob on those Pocket Monica figures. I'd probably still be watching this show if this had ever happened in it. Ready To Laugh? Come to AhaJokes.com for more fun any time! Visit our funny pics, funny vids, or funny forwards sections for a good laugh! Know a great joke? We'd love to hear it! You may find your joke in a future newsletter or even on the front page of Aha Jokes! Go ahead, make us laugh!  follow on Twitter | friend on Facebook  Copyright © 2013 Aha! Jokes LLC. All rights reserved. Funniest place on the web. Our mailing address is: ahacomedycorner@gmail.com Add this e-mail to your Address Book! We respect your privacy. You are receiving this e-mail because you or someone else subscribed to receive jokes on the AhaJokes.com Web site. You can permanently unsubscribe by using the link below if you no longer wish to receive this newsletter.  unsubscribe from this list

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Elderly Jokes :: #10328 By Anonymous from USA. "Doc!" the man yells. I've lost my memory!" "Calm down, sir. When did this happen." The man looked at him. "When did what happen?" Forward this joke to your friends >>   Miscellaneous :: #3204 By R.RAMACHANDRA RAO from HYDERABAD India Rusting If gold rusts, what can iron do? - CHAUCER -     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com