Funny everyday jokes: September 2010

Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 30th September, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th September, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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TV Shopping
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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

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He Doesn't Speak

A man and woman got married and had a little boy who was very healthy,
but as he got older his parents noticed that he never spoke.

This concerned his parents greatly. They took their son to several
doctors who ran series of tests and told them that the boy was perfectly
healthy but would probably never speak.

Resigned, the parent took their son home and did everything in their
power to keep him happy. One night seven years later while eating
dinner, the little boy looked up from his plate and said in a clear
voice, "These peas are cold."

Overjoyed, his parents celebrated and hugged and kissed him. "Oh," they
said. "We're so happy. We thought you couldn't speak. Why haven't you
spoken until now?"

The boy looked at his parents and said, "Well up until these peas,
everything's been fine."

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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Marriage Jokes :: #613
By Anonymous from USA.

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."

That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look."

The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"

So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine."

Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed...I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."

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			Halo Reach The best-selling Xbox game of all time! Players experience the fateful momments that forged the "Halo" legend. It's the story of Noble Team, a squad of heroic Spartan soliders, and their final stand on the planet Reach.

Health :: #5924
By Anonymous from USA.

Weight watching?
There are two main types of vegetable: starchy and nonstarchy.

Starchy vegetables include Acorn squash, Butternut squash, Corn, Green peas, Parsnip, Plantain, Potato, Pumpkin, Sweet potato and Yam. One serving of these vegetables usually contains 15 grams of carbohydrate, up to 3 grams of protein, up to 1 gram of fat and 80 calories.

Nonstarchy vegetables include Asparagus, Green beans, Beets, Broccoli, Cabbage, Carrots, cauliflower, Celery, Cucumber, Eggplant, Mushrooms, Onions, Peppers, Spinach and Tomatoes among others. Nonstarchy vegetables contain small amounts of carbohydrates and calories, but they pack an important nutritional punch. One serving of nonstarchy vegetables usually contains 5 grams of carbohydrate, 2 grams of protein, no fat and only 25 calories.

- Mayo Clinic -

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