-Stick your feet way out into the aisles when sitting down. Extra
points if you're wearing clown shoes.
-Take large objects on the train with you.
-Sing songs. Start a round with everyone on the train.
-Eat onions and garlic and talk to the people next to you.
-Sell stuff.
-Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get
by.
-Yell to your friends at the other end of the train.
-Make fun of other people while they are in hearing distance of you.
-Ride the train while drunk. Extra points if you throw up.
-Constantly ask people for directions.
-Ask people where they are from.
-Ask people where they are going.
-Quiz people on the meaning of life.
-Start a game of poker. Extra points if it's strip poker.
-Start a game of tag. Extra points if it's strip tag.
-Start a game of Twister.
-Use a cell phone. Talk loudly.
-Turn your headphones up to 120 decibels and then complain loudly that
they just don't make headphones loud enough anymore.
-Shake off your umbrella on the people sitting down.
-Shake off your hair on the people sitting down.
-Ring out your shirt on the people sitting down. Even on days when it's
not raining. Make them wonder where it all came from.
-Ring out the shirt of the person sitting next to you. Extra points if
you get slapped.
-Bring a pet. Preferably a rattlesnake. Without a cage.
-Juggle eggs.
-Juggle knives.
-Juggle babies.
-Don't take a shower for a month.
-Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.
-Start line dancing. Even when there's no music.
-Use the shoulder of the person next to you to take a nap.
-Use the shoulder of the person next to you to blow your nose.
-Use the shoulder of the person next to you to cry.
-Have deep philosophical conversations about belly button lint.
-Play an accordion for money. Make people pay you to stop.
-Jump up and down muttering "Gotta go, gotta go," then frown and say
"Oops."
-Get on while carrying live ammo. Oh... wait, that's for how to kill
people on the subway.
-Wear a Burger King crown and tell everyone that they must bow before
royalty. Hit those who don't.
-See how many different pick-up lines you can use on the train driver.
-Use pennies in the turnstile.
-Hijack the train.
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