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Miscellaneous Jokes :: #22638 By Anonymous from USA. The prudish old maid found herself seated next to a classy playboy at a formal affair. After a little, rather icy conversation, the lady attempted to dismiss the fellow with, "It's quite obvious that we do not agree on a single, solitary thing." The playboy smiled. "Oh, I don't think that's quite true, madam," he said. "If you were to enter a bedroom in which there were two beds, and if, madam, there were a woman in one and a man in the other, in which bed would you sleep? "Well," the lady huffed indignantly, "with the woman, of course." "You see, we agree," the playboy said, laughing. "So would I." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommended for You         Halo Reach The best-selling Xbox game of all time! Players experience the fateful momments that forged the "Halo" legend. It's the story of Noble Team, a squad of heroic Spartan soliders, and their final stand on the planet Reach.     Home Life :: #5900 By Nicole Paitsel from USA. When choosing pet food - Check the label, not the price. A recent Consumer Reports story suggests that expensive pet food is not necessarily more nutritional. Iveta Becvarova a veterinary nutritionist with the Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine at Virginia Tech thinks that it is safe to say that not all inexpensive brands are bad, but there are some that pet owners should stay away from. Here are her tips for finding nutritional food at the best price. Stick to the correct life stage. Both dog and cat foods will be labeled for life stage. Puppies and pregnant animals need extra calories and fat for growth. Becvarova warns pet owners to stay away from food labeled "for all life stages," because those blends often include too many calories for a healthy adult dog or cat. "Obesity is such a problem for animals now," she says. "Normal adult dogs really don't need the same nutrient and calorie intake as puppies." Look for wording about feeding trials. Every pet food package will have an Association of American Feed Control Officials (AAFCO) statement. This regulatory group tells consumers how the food is formulated. The statement on preferred foods will include wording about feeding trials, which means that the food has been tested on animals for digestibility and nutritional balance. The order of ingredients matters. Labels are required to list the ingredients in weight order. The first ingredient is the one that constitutes the most weight in the formula. Becvarova says the first or second ingredient should be a protein source; water will always be first for canned foods. Quality protein sources include whole meats and chicken byproduct meal. Organ meats, such as liver, are also good. Pet owners should stay away from foods that list meat and bone meal and meat meal tankage as main ingredients. Be careful when making your own pet food. Homemade pet food is a growing trend, but Consumer Reports experts and Becvarova warn that it's difficult to plan a balanced diet. "There are 40 specific nutrients that your dog needs in order to have a balanced diet. Making your own food is very elaborate. It takes time, and the food is harder to store because there are no preservatives," Becvarova says. You should work with your veterinarian and nutritionist to set up a balanced plan if you would like to prepare your own dog/cat food. Stay away from Internet/Magazine sources because most of the recipes lack the nutrients the animal needs.     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com