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Bar & Drinking Jokes :: #963
By Tim Valdivai from Chino Hills California USA.
A guy walks into a bar and, and notices that behind the bartender there is a big gigantic jar full of 20-dollar bills. So the guy asks
Guy: Hey bartender what's all the money for?
Bartender: Well mister, we have a little contest going on.
Guy: Oh yea, what is it?
Bartender: Well, for 20 dollars, u have to go down to the end of the bar and
knock that big fellow there out in one punch.
The guy takes a look down at the end of the bar and sees a big, muscular looking guy.
Guy: Well, I think I could take him.
Bartender: Hold on there partner, there's more. You see that door over there behind you?
Guy: Yea I see it.
Bartender: Well I got a pit-bull in there with a rotten tooth and u got to yank it out.
The guy thinks for a little while and replies
Guy: You know what I'm not of afraid of any dog I could do that.
Bartender: Wait a second there partner; there is one more task.
Guy: Then hurry up and tell me!
Bartender: Why do you see that door to the right of the pit-bull?
Guy: Yea
Bartender: Why I got my 70-year-old grandma in there and you got to make love to her.
Guy: I'M OUTTA THIS BET!
But after a couple of hours of drinking at the bar, the guy gets piss drunk. He goes over to the bartender and slaps 20 bucks on the table goes to the end of the bar and WHAM, knocks the big guy out in one punch. Then the guy slowly walks to the door with the pit-bull...he opens the door and steps in...all of a sudden its quite and all the bartender can hear is the growling and barking of an angry dog. The bartender listens closer and can hear things falling and breaking inside the room. Then after awhile the bartender hears the dog whimpering in fear and pain. Then the door opens...
The guy slowly crawls out of the room...his clothes are torn and his leg and arms are all bloody...the guy slowly gets up and looks at the bartender:
Guy: Now where's the old bitch with the rotten tooth.
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Money :: #6165
By Anonymous from USA.
Rufus ate or mutilated your money?
Send the remains of paper money along with a letter on how it was destroyed to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing at MCD/OFM, BEPA, Room 344A. P.O. Box 37048, Washington, D.C. Make sure it's packaged in a way to prevent further deterioration and send it via registered mail, return receipt requested.
Generally, the bureau requires that you have more than half of the original bill so there's no chance that you will be reimburse twice. If your have less, examiners will need to verify that the rest of the bill is truly destroyed. The bureau only redeems destroyed U.S. paper money. Be patient it takes six weeks to 20 months for mutilated currency examiners to process a case.
Bills that are merely worn out, defaced or dirty can be exchanged at your local bank.
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