Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Aha! Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for October 03

Aha!Jokes Laughing Gas Newsletter for Oct. 3, 2012!
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Eye for an Eye

A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I'll bet you my tab double or nothing that I can bite my eye." The bartender accepts the bet, and the guy pulls out his glass eye and bites it.

He has a few more drinks and asks for his bill again. The bartender reports that his bill now is thirty dollars plus tip. He bets the bartender he can bite his other eye. The bartender accepts knowing the man can't possibly have two glass eyes. The guy then proceeds by taking out his false teeth and biting his other eye.

Crazy Laws - Massachusetts

Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.

Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

Bullets may not be used as currency.

Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.

At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.

It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.

It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1.

It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.

Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.

It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.

An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.

Quakers and witches are banned.

Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.

In Longmeadow MA, it is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.

In Boston MA, no one may take a bath without a prescription.

In Boston MA, no more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.

In Boston MA, an old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.

In Boston MA, duels to the death are permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.

In Boston MA, no one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.

In Boston MA, it is illegal to play the fiddle.

In Marlboro MA, one may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.

In Newton MA, all families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.

In North Andover MA, an ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.

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