Funny everyday jokes: March 2010

What's For Dinner

One day, an American was touring Spain. After a day of sightseeing, he
stopped at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he noticed a
sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are
bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted when he learned the origin of
the dish said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per
day since there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early
tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to serve you this
delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order and was
served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites,
and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and
said, "These are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve
yesterday!"

The waiter promptly replied, "Si, senor! Sometimes the bull wins!"

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Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 31st March, 2010

JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 31st March, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com

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The Burglar
-------------------------

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more , after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a be*l he heard

'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

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SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Bathroom Graffiti :: #204
By William Collins from USA.

Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words: "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

Forward this joke to your friends >>

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Interpersonal Skills :: #2601
By Walt from Lahaina USA.

Don't Be Offended
If another says something hurtful, it is wise to ignore it;

if the words were not intended to hurt,

our resentment will hurt the innocent;

if the words were intended to hurt,

our resentment will reward the guilty.

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