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Howdy Daily, it's me, Joe Cosity here!
Here's a humorous set of wedding vows, performed
Dr. Seuss style...
Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?
Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.
Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?
Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.
Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?
Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.
Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?
Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!
Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?
Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!
Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?
Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!
Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?
Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!
Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:
Pastor and Groom: I DO!
Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.
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And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that
he which made them at the beginning made them male and
female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father
and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain
shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
-Matthew 19:4
I'm glad you could join me for today's content, and I look
forward to bringing you more next time!
Until then, bye-bye!
Joe Cosity
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Reminder: Joe Cosity is only a fictitious person, the result of imagination. Therefore, events depicted in this newsletter as real are actually either partially or completely made up to help you laugh. To contact Joe, simply send an email to:
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