1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no
one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get
older.
3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every
day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair.
4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.
5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might
actually think you're cute.
6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can
entertain you for hours.
7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have
to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone
else's fault.
9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see
the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five
minutes and come back.
10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.
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