Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out
the names and addresses of people you don't know.
Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by
holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and
occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.
Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that
the subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2
days.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast
wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt
by simply peeling it off.
Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails
will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a
red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug
of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost
instantly removed.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following
morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble
full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the
wall.
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Please visit our sponsors to support Jokes2U.com.
Aunt Annie's Crafts takes the craft how-to book
one step further by putting it on the computer!
Boxes, bags, puppets, paper airplanes, holiday
crafts, plus over 40 games to make...
Visit http://www.auntannie.com/
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Thank you for using the Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list.
The Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list is provided by Precision Computer
Systems (PCS). PCS makes no warranty or assumes any liability for the
use of this list.
Please send this joke to a friend!
You are currently subscribed to jokes2u.com as: dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com
To subscribe to this mail list send a blank email to:
join-Jokes2U.com@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to:
mailto:leave-jokes2u.com-132317F@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
or use the on-line form at:
No comments:
Post a Comment