Saturday, August 11, 2012

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

aJokeADay.com - A Joke A Day
 
The Joke of The Day
Quotes Jokes :: #328
By Peggy Wallace from Unknown

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)

In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."



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DealsMagazine.com
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Words of Knowledge :: #162
By Heather Davis from Phoenix USA.

Inner Joy
I realized today,

I have been thinking,

that certain people,

certain places,

and certain kinds of activities create my joy.

I had failed to see myself as the only constant in the equation.

My joy comes from ME,

and it is with me always.

Beth Johnson

 
 
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