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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

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Gender Slam :: #9145
By from Unknown

From the Washington Post Style Invitation:

It was postulated that English, like many foreign languages, should have male and female nouns. Readers were asked to assign a gender to a noun of their choice and explain their reason. Here are the best submissions:

ZIPLOC BAGS - Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE - Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS - Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

SHOE - Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER - Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Also because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed and it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

TIRE - Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON - Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES - Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE - Female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY - Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS - Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER - Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL - Female, (Ha! You thought I'd say male). But consider: it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

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