1. Give people less, make them think it's more and take the rest.
2. Memorize your favorite dirty joke.
3. Believe all you hear, spend all you have, sleep all you want..
4. When you say, "I love you", do it to get sex.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", do it over the phone.
6. You will be engaged at least six months before you realize you want
to call it off.
7. Believe in sex on the first date.
8. Laugh at unattainable dreams.
9. Drive fast and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only
way to get there fast.
10. In disagreements, insist you are always right, never compromise.
11. Judge people by their clothing.
12. Talk fast and you can fool anyone.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, tell
them, "It's none of your goddamn business."
14. Remember that sex is like pizza........
15. Call your mom...collect.
16. Say "Good One" when you hear someone fart.
17. When you lose, complain that you got screwed.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Remind friends that they are lucky to have you as a friend.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, do everything you can to
cover it up.
21. If you smile when picking up the phone. The caller will think you
are gay.
22. If you marry someone that loves to talk. As you get older, she will
never shut up.
23. Spend some time alone, and people think you are a loser.
24. Open your arms to change, only if it benefits you..
25. Remember that silence is the first step in not getting caught.
26. TV is cool.
27. Live a good, honorable life. And someone who doesn't will get more
out of life.
28. Trust in Valet Parking, but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to
create a tranquil harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, tell them the only reason you
don't beat them up, is because they are family.
31. Read between the lines, and you can find ways around things.
32. Save your knowledge, use if for personal gain.
33. Litter... it gives inmates something to do.
34. Pray. It's worth a shot.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered, but if you must add
in things the person forgot.
36. Get in everyone's business and you can use it against them.
37. Don't trust a woman who doesn't pay for her own cab home.
38. Once a year, call off work for a week and claim to be sick.
39. If you make a lot of money, spend it on yourself, and things that
will make you look good.
40. Remember that not getting what you want sucks
41. Learn the rules then rewrite the rule book.
42. Remember that the best relationship is one where you only sleep
together, with no commitment.
43. Judge your success by what you have, right now.
44. Remember that your character can change to get anthing you want.
45. Approach lying and cheating with reckless abandon.
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