TWELVE RULES FOR RAISING DELINQUENT CHILDREN!
(1). Begin in infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this
way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
(2). When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think
he's cute. It will also encourage him to pick up "cuter" phrases that
will blow off the top of your head later.
(3). Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he is 21, then
let him "decide for himself".
(4). Avoid use of the word "wrong". It may develop a guilt complex.
This will condition him to believe, later, when he is arrested for
stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
(5). Pick up everything he leaves lying around--books, shoes, clothing,
ect. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all
responsibility onto others.
(6). Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be
careful that the drinking glasses and silverware are sterilized, but let
his mind feast on garbage.
(7). Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. In this way, he
will not be to shocked when the home is broken up later.
(8). Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn
his own. Why should he have things as "tough as you had them"?
(9). Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that
every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful
frustration.
(10). Take his part against neighbors, teachers and the policemen. They
are all prejudiced against him.
(11). When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying,
"I never could do anything with him".
(12). Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it.
Not so funny, but true!
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