Thursday, July 15, 2010

Advice from Men to Women

Advice from Men to Women

1. The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.

2. Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come
home with the wrong thing.

3. When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the
screen. Kissing should only be done during time-outs and commercials.
Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much
better chance of getting an immediate response.

4. When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a
commercial do not hassle me saying they are over and to change the
channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are
channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I
skipped it.

5. If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry
it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and
I am now free to return to the couch.

6. If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something
it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.

7. If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would
appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling
alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your
fault.

8. I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.

9. Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And
remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the
occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.

10. Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another, or if a certain
accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and
would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.

11. If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you
should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop
giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an
organ that has a brain of its own.

12. Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd
background noise to me. I am *not* ignoring you.

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