1. The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
2. Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come
home with the wrong thing.
3. When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the
screen. Kissing should only be done during time-outs and commercials.
Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much
better chance of getting an immediate response.
4. When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a
commercial do not hassle me saying they are over and to change the
channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are
channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I
skipped it.
5. If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry
it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and
I am now free to return to the couch.
6. If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something
it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.
7. If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would
appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling
alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your
fault.
8. I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
9. Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And
remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the
occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.
10. Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another, or if a certain
accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and
would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.
11. If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you
should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop
giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an
organ that has a brain of its own.
12. Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd
background noise to me. I am *not* ignoring you.
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