HOW TO TRAVEL WITH THE KIDS
- Instead of singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall," you drink 'em.
- During the school year, keep them up at night so that they fail and
get held in summer school.
- Pretend to pass out at the wheel, weaving erratically.
- Blindfold the children and tell them that you're taking them to the
"Batcave."
- Sit them back-to-back, facing away from one another, and go to town
with the duct tape.
- Make them eat a whole turkey and let the tryptophan kick in.
- You can ship a 40 lb child UPS 2nd day air for around $60.00, but
don't forget the air holes.
- When you get on the plane, ask your child if he or she remembered
to pack their parachute.
- Tell your kids that if they're extra-good, they get to ride in the
"trunk seat."
- For every sugary snack your kid eats, take a Valium pill.
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