 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Monday, May 31, 2010
SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes
Recommended Book 
A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Highly Recommended Book 
Sunday, May 30, 2010
P.S.
P.S.
My father once told me of the time he was a little careless in a
restaurant. It seems that between the appetizer and the entre he had
occasion to go to the lavatory. Shortly after returning the waiter
brought his main course, and while serving managed to surreptitiously
pass my father a note, the contents of which were as follows:
"Please, Sir, excuse this intrusion. "I noticed that a few minutes ago
you paid a visit to the lavatory. Unfortunately, in your haste to
return to your food and your companions you failed to adjust your
clothing properly. As a result, I couldn't help noticing that your penis
is hanging out of your flies. By now I will have gone to the other side
of the restaurant, where I will pick up a stack of plates. In a moment I
shall drop these plates, thus creating a distraction and allowing you
to adjust yourself unobserved.
"PS: I love you."
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Please visit our sponsors to support Jokes2U.com.
Aunt Annie's Crafts takes the craft how-to book
one step further by putting it on the computer!
Boxes, bags, puppets, paper airplanes, holiday
crafts, plus over 40 games to make...
Visit http://www.auntannie.com/
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Thank you for using the Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list.
The Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list is provided by Precision Computer
Systems (PCS). PCS makes no warranty or assumes any liability for the
use of this list.
Please send this joke to a friend!
You are currently subscribed to jokes2u.com as: dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com
To subscribe to this mail list send a blank email to:
join-Jokes2U.com@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to:
mailto:leave-jokes2u.com-132317F@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
or use the on-line form at:
SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 30th May, 2010
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 30th May, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Pet Fish
-------------------------
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin ' a cove well-known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, ' Do you have a license to catch those fish? '
' Naw, sir ' , replied the redneck. ' I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish. '
' Pet fish? '
' Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let ' em swim ' round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take ' em home. '
' That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that. '
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, ' It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works. '
' O. K.. ' , said the warden. ' I've got to see this! '
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, ' Well? '
' Well, what? ' , says the redneck.
The warden says, ' When are you going to call them back? '
' Call who back? '
' The FISH ' , replied the warden!
' What fish? ' , replied the redneck.
Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20
Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20100530
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Old Fashion Way
Old Fashion Way
There's a man named Jose that worked in the fields of a rural country
cutting down trees, and every afternoon his wife Maria used to bring him
his lunch.
Well, one afternoon Jose got horny and started screwing the shit out of
Maria, as they were doing it a bee flew by and stung her right next to
her nipple. Days went by and the swelling wouldn't go away, so Jose took
her to the doctor's.
The doctor took a look at it and said, "Well we're going to have to get
the puss out in order for her breast to heal, and the best way to do
that is to suck it out."
Jose looked at the doctor and said, "Isn't there another way?"
The doctor said, "Nope, the old-fashion way is the best way for this."
So of course he believed the doctor and went along with it, so the
doctor went off on Maria's tit, I mean he sucked the shit out of it, he
had her moaning and everything.
A week later Jose while taking a piss got stung right on the tip of his
dick so he went to the doctor. The doctor took a look at it and said,
"Holy shit, that things huge! I'll be right back, I'm going to go get a
shot that will make the puss come right out."
Jose looked at him and said, "NO, no, no, like you said the old fashion
way is the best way. Now start sucking!"
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Please visit our sponsors to support Jokes2U.com.
Do you like sports?
Do you like adventure?
Do you like wild things?
Visit http://www.wildthings.com/
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Thank you for using the Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list.
The Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list is provided by Precision Computer
Systems (PCS). PCS makes no warranty or assumes any liability for the
use of this list.
Please send this joke to a friend!
You are currently subscribed to jokes2u.com as: dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com
To subscribe to this mail list send a blank email to:
join-Jokes2U.com@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to:
mailto:leave-jokes2u.com-132317F@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
or use the on-line form at:
SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Friday, May 28, 2010
NEWSFLASH!
NEWSFLASH!
Scientists at MIT (Mammary Institute of Technology) have discovered a
new force, quite possibly the most powerful yet. Researchers have dubbed
this new force "breast gravity." It is the nearly irresistible force
that draws men's eyes down to women's breasts.
"The idea came to me out of the blue," says team leader Frank Leerer.
"I was walking along the beach with a colleague of mine, and we saw a
woman in a string bikini. 'Check out the globes on her!' he said. That's
when the idea hit me like a brick house."
Theorists have been working around the clock to explain the biophysical
mechanism behind the phenomenon. It is believed that like the other
fundamental forces of the universe, breast gravity is mediated by an
elementary particle. MIT scientists have named this theoretical particle
the "boobon."
Many aspects of the new force have now been determined empirically. It
is known that breast gravity grows exponentially with breast size.
Also, experimentalists think that many materials must absorb boobons,
because layers of clothing can significantly decrease the force. (A
large parka can sometimes nullify the effect completely.)
Still, there are mysteries yet to be solved. For example, why are
almost all men's eyes affected, but only a small fraction of women's?
How can it be that the force is transmitted even through televised and
printed images of breasts?
Scientists everywhere are looking into it.
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Please visit our sponsors to support Jokes2U.com.
Single? Looking for a date?
Check out the SingleSites.com directory of
online dating and personals sites!
http://www.singlesites.com/
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Thank you for using the Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list.
The Jokes2U.com joke a day mail list is provided by Precision Computer
Systems (PCS). PCS makes no warranty or assumes any liability for the
use of this list.
Please send this joke to a friend!
You are currently subscribed to jokes2u.com as: dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com
To subscribe to this mail list send a blank email to:
join-Jokes2U.com@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
To unsubscribe send a blank email to:
mailto:leave-jokes2u.com-132317F@lyris.PrecisionComputers.com
or use the on-line form at:
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - 28th May, 2010
JokesWareHouse.com Joke of the day - 28th May, 2010 - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
-------------------------
Wisdom From Senior Citizens
-------------------------
1. I started with nothing. I still have most of it.
2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling
apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
5. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
9. The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop digging.
10. I tried to get a life once, but they told me they were
out of stock.
11. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway
though.
12. It was so different before everything changed.
13. Some day's you're the dog, and some day's you're the
hydrant.
14. Nostalgia isn't what it use to be.
15. Old programmers never die. They just terminate and
stay resident.
-------------------------
Advertisements
-------------------------
Amazon.com
Online shopping from the earth's biggest selection of books, magazines,
music, DVDs, videos, electronics, computers, software, apparel & accessories,
shoes, jewelry, housewares, furniture, sporting goods, beauty & personal care,
just about anything else.
Shop at Amazon!
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=jokeswareh-20
Gem Depot
we import the finest natural gemstones direct from the producers
to give you the best quality for the lowest possible price.
http://www.gemdepot.com
-------------------------
Forward this joke to your friends! Or if you want to let them see this, give them this link: http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/cgi-bin/viewjoke.cgi?id=20100528
Jokes Warehouse Joke of the Day - http://www.jokeswarehouse.com
________________________________________________
To manage your account or to unsubscribe to our mailing list, go to http://www.jokeswarehouse.com/mailinglist.shtml
SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)