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Miscellaneous Jokes :: #18595
By David Koblick from 4400 Steyr Austria
After 30 years delivering mail on the same route, a friendly mailman was going to retire, and all his customers were sad to see him go. On his last day, the family at the first house on one block came out on the porch, gave him an envelope of vacation money and a bottle of Scotch. At the next house the people gave him a box of Havana cigars and wished him well. The lady at the third house met him at the door in a flimsy negligee, and without saying a word, led him upstairs to the bedroom for a half-hour of passionate lovemaking, then downstairs to the kitchen, where she finished preparing a lavish breakfast of ham and eggs, buckwheat pancakes with maple syrup and a big pot of coffee.
As she was refilling his cup, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the saucer.
"This is all overwhelming," he said, "but what's the dollar for?
"Well," she answered, "this morning I told my husband that you were retiring and asked him whether we should do something nice for you. He said, 'Fuck him! Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my own idea."
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Weight Control :: #525
By Gene from Skiatook,OK USA.
Weight loss made easy.
The number one way we burn calories is exercise, number two is digesting food. Ask you doctor how many calories you should eat in a day to control your weight, Divide this by five. Eating five smaller meals spread out over a day will actually fool our body into burning more calories by working all day.
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