SpicyJokes.com - Funny Everyday jokes

Entertainment Jokes :: #21742 By from Unknown You know you're from Utah when: You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl There is a church on every corner, and they all teach the same thing Schools stay open, even if 6 feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running, and then they come in fourth You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic." Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit Sandals are the best-selling shoes There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer You negotiate prices at a garage sale You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant Your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House' The elevation exceeds the population You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you You can go skiing and play golf on the same day 30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable You can pronounce Tooele The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y You have actually eaten funeral potatoes You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot" Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom Forward this joke to your friends >>   Words of Knowledge :: #647 By Mandy from Buena Vista USA. Quote "You don't need to worship idols of the Virgin Mary, the Christ, or the Buddha. You can if you want to; if it feels good, do it. Your own body is a manifestation of God, and if you honor your body everything will change for you." -Don Miguel Ruiz-     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 999 E Touhy Ave, Des Plaines, IL 60018 1995-2011 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com