Monday, February 29, 2016

Joke of the day - The Green and Purple Grape

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Creative Weight Loss


Wife: Honey I lost 5 pounds!

Husband: AT LAST... you washed off your makeup!



Submitted by hiranchamu

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The Green and Purple Grape - 7th place $8


One day a green grape was walking down the road when he saw a purple grape, the green grape then started hollering, "Breathe dude Breathe!"

Submitted by little Show

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THE EASEST WAY TO FIND SAFETY #2914

Those that are seeking absolute safety are really coveting their own graves, for only in the grave is there absolute safety.

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Sunday, February 28, 2016

Joke of the day - Fried Chicken

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If Apple Built a Car


If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

Submitted by hiranchamu

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Fried Chicken - 9th place won $6


Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am now ...

Submitted by srinu

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Superficial People... #3063

Superficial people seek ultimate perfection in order to evade their own imperfections.

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