A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes :: #878 By Mark from USA. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists... Two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. In side of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes." I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair." Forward this joke to your friends >>     Highly Recommended Book         Comedy Comes Clean A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!     Miscellaneous :: #6100 By Michelle Wlch from Sarnia, Ontario Canada How To Stop Static Electricity In Carpets When you have carpets in your home there is often a build up of static electricity, and either you get zapped or you are zapping other people or your pets. This is a cheaper way to stop it from happening to anyone. Go get a spray bottle at your local Dollar Store, and get a bottle of unscented or scented fabric softener. When you bring them home fill the spray bottle 3/4 full of tap water and then top it off with the fabric softener put the cap on it and make sure to give it a shake to blend the water and fabric softener well. The next time you vacuum the carpet make sure the spray bottle is set to the setting where it comes out in a mist then spray the carpet with it. Apply every second time you vacuum and no more static shocks will happen. Be sure to put the water in the bottle first and the fabric softener last or you get a bottle full of bubbles.     aJokeADay.com - www.ajokeaday.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from aJokeADay.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com