Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A Joke A Day - Funny everyday Jokes

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The Joke of The Day
Puns :: #6092
By Anonymous from USA.

- EVER WONDER

-

- Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

-

- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

-

- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

-

- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

-

- Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

-

- Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

-

- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid

- made with real lemons?

-

- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

-

- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

-

- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

-

- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

-

- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

-

- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

-

- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why

- don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

-

- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

-

- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

-

- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

-

- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?




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A hilarious collection of wholesome jokes, quotes, and one-linears. Over 140 pages of laugh-out-loud humor on everything from family like to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. Funny book for the entire family!
 
 
The Tip of The Day from WisdomTips.com
Health :: #6002
By Anonymous from USA.

Getting enough calcium?
Bone fact: More than 99 percent of your body's calcium is kept in your bones and teeth.

Calcium doesn't just come in milk.

Consider these other sources of calcium:

Low-fat dairy products, such as cheese and yogurt

Dark green leafy vegetables, such as broccoli or spinach

Sardines and salmon with bones

Tofu

Almonds

Beans

Calcium-fortified foods

If you don't get enough calcium in your food, ask your physician about taking a calcium supplement.



-Mayo Clinic-



 
 
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