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Miscellaneous Jokes :: #21726 By Anonymous from USA. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee, (n). The person upon whom one coughs. 2 Flabbergasted, (adj). appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate, (v). To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade, (v). To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly, (adj). Impotent. 6. Negligent, (adj). Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph, (v). To walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle, (n). Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence, (n). Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash, (n). A rapidly receding hairline.. 11. Testicles, (n). A humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude, (n). The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon, (n). A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster, (n). A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism, (n). The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent, (n). An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. Forward this joke to your friends >>     Recommended Book         The Ultimate Adult Only Joke Book 400+ pages of hilarious, unmentionable and down-right rude jokes that are sure to raise an eyebrow and crack you up! Get ready for taboo jokes on all sorts of topis.     Automotive :: #826 By Joe Bihlmaier from Eustis United States Minor Outlying Islands Easy Ways To Find An Engine Miss Fire. A good way to find a engine miss fire is to open the vehicle's hood at night with the hood light disconnected. Observe to see if there is any arcing of electricity around the spark plug wires. Sometime a 50/50 mixture of antifreeze and water in a spray bottle can illuminate this better. Also listen for hissing or whistling noises, this could indicate a vacuum leak that also could be the cause for the miss. An easy way to sometimes tell if there is a valve problem is to listen at the carburetor or throttle body for a popping noise. Possible cause could be intake valve problems. If your here a popping or thumping noise at the exhaust hold a dollar bill stretched over the tailpipe. If the dollar tries getting sucked into the exhaust you may have a bad exhaust valve. If problem exists when accelerating or going uphill this usually indicates ignition system problems. Most often spark plugs or spark plug wires. Suggested by www.jlselfdefense.com     SpicyJokes.com - www.spicyjokes.com 4179 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL 60641 1995-2008 © All rights reserved. Unsubscribe from SpicyJokes.com sent to dailyjokes@inspiredgfx.com